I grew up going to church, it was a waste of time in my opinion. As I saw it, there were a bunch of sheep herding in to hear a bunch of bullshit from someone I didn’t know, nor did I want to. That was my opinion for most of my early adult life. Yes, I was very judgmental, opinionated and materialistic among several other negative traits.
As I entered my late twenties this would begin to change in an unexpected way. As I stated earlier about church, maybe it wasn’t a waste of time after all. It was a learning experience that would help shape my values and drastically change my life. In 2008 I went to my first rehab in Louisiana, I was there for 11 months. I learned a lot but didn’t explore the idea about God. I was open to the idea but did not fully embrace the concept. I’m not sure why, but that’s my recollection during that time. I left rehab, bought a bottle, and set off to North Carolina for an opportunity with my employer and really an ex-girlfriend. I do not recommend that route, it didn’t end well. Off I went living out of my car back to Michigan, where I lived in my early twenties. I was able to stay with a friend and found a couple of jobs. I worked excavating and installing swimming pools, good choice. As well as being a tour guide and working in the tasting room at a local winery, it is not a good idea for obvious reasons. I was able to afford a little red cottage on the shore of Lake Michigan, it seemed perfect, it wasn’t. Back on the bottle and on the move as winter approached and I was starting to become unreliable. This series of events led me back to Colorado.
I was welcomed by a visit to Denver Cares, one of the most uncomfortable detox centers in the Denver area. I recall staying a night or two, shaking and sweating in a cot surrounded by people in the same state of mind and with all the florescent lights on. A social worker came to visit me before I left and gave me a list of places that might help. I went out to my car and started calling. My order was tall, very tall. I was looking for somewhere that was long term, free (as I did not have insurance), with availability now. After going through the list with no luck, I called the last number, a place called The Crossing. A man by the name of John Ware answered the phone. I told him my situation and he said, “If you can get here in the next hour, we have a bed for you”, I said “I’m on my way”. I scraped together a few dollars in exchange for gas and headed to The Crossing. I pulled up and called my Mom to let her know my plan. I thought to myself the sign on the entrance said, ‘Saving Lives in the Name of Christ’, this had to be a joke. I hung up with my Mom and went in the front door. Later I identified this moment as ‘Walking through the doors God opened’, that was the best way to describe that experience. Boy was it ever, I knew nothing about the place other than I had a safe place to stay, three healthy meals and a job in the kitchen starting at 5:30am the next day.
In my two and a half years living there I noticed some profound and unexpected feelings. We were exposed to God but not forced. Unproductively, I tried to debunk the concept of God for 8 months. I had almost nothing, yet everything was exceeding what I expected, expectations are not always productive I’ve learned. Everything was going well. I moved from the kitchen to maintenance, I was approved to drive company vehicles and served all three buildings maintenance needs, definitely an upgrade. Our jobs at the Denver Rescue Mission paid our expenses and we didn’t receive additional compensation, I certainly wasn’t complaining. I ended up getting a job at a hospital as a valet and concierge along with my job at The Mission. I was attending Metro State University of Denver full time for nonprofit administration with a 4.0 GPA. I was the program director for the AIR Foundation and coach of the Denver Rescue Mission marathon team. I was sober and thriving. I was convinced there was merit to the God thing in recovery. This was not me doing that incredible juggling act, God carried me the whole way including everything leading up to this realization. I now understand why, He is always with me, it’s up to me to see it, be humble and extremely grateful.
The point is, as I continued the battle in recovery, there was one constant. Walk Through the Doors God opens whether you believe or not, His open doors are always there, up to you to see them.
God is real, Religious God, Group Of Drunks, Good Orderly Direction, no matter what it is, pick something bigger than you, has more power than you do. I continue to walk through the doors he opens with an open mind, hope and willingness. I still do this and has led me through lucrative financial endeavors and 11more rehab treatment centers as well as several detox centers. This was my experience; I’m hopeful you will find your journey. God loves you and so do I and remember to always ‘Walk through the doors God opens. Embrace what He has in store for you. I don’t regret it and it is my hope you won’t either.
