I was never satisfied. I found both comfort and torment. I was in my twenties. I worked at a country club, had seasonal jobs and was the GM of northern Michigans largest boat and snowmobile rental company. I noticed all of these jobs and friendships revolved around, for me, drugs and alcohol. Life seemed great on paper but I knew there was something else going on and, as I look back, seemed to be getting worse every day. My friends and family started voicing concerns and I was fairly quick to agree. I wanted help but as the same time was afraid to let go of my number one comfort in the form of anything that made me feel different. Dipping my toe in AA and stepped into my first of what has come to be thirteen different recovery treatment centers and countless new Sobriety dates. The journey that I could not begin to foresee a straight path to whatever I was looking for. I would be later that I would settle into an unhealthy and unhappy future life on the recovery roller coaster. I identified that I was different than my peers. Using poor judgment and abusing substances in excess.

I always wanted to feel different, feel relaxed, happy and “normal”. My journey towards recovery started around 2008 when I entered my first inpatient recovery program. This was preceded with an encounter with a therapist in Michigan who asked me to write down all of my “problems”. So I did and filled the entire piece of paper and brought it to him the following week. Of all the problems I wrote down between money, friendships, mental health concerns, felling alone and so on. He circled two things, drugs and alcohol. He told me if we can address those two things most of my problems would go away and/or significantly decrease. He then suggested AA and trying to reduce my intake of drugs and alcohol. I failed at reducing use and decided to give AA a try. He later went on to tell me he had been sober for over 30 years. It was certainly a chance encounter. So there started my journey into recovery. I knew that I had a problem and there was a solution.

Thinking about it now, it was quite easy to admit I was an alcoholic. The evidence was overwhelming. I now knew I was at a good starting point to address such issues. I felt comfortable knowing it was something I knew had a solution. My family was 100% supportive. They agreed, rather took it upon themselves to pay for my first treatment in Baton Rouge, LA.

Myself and my family, as well as my peers who all had the same issues. This group continues to grow every day. I knew I didn’t want to die. That keeps me going today and almost everyday. It’s sad when you make it to 30, 40 and beyond it comes as a surprise. A quiet humbling experience.

It sucks! It feels so unnatural like pushing two opposing magnets together constantly. It gets more comfortable as time goes on and you start to really feel better. Meeting people with the same story, different backdrop. It is comforting. It’s a constant battle between going to detox or the liquor store. Both are going to make you feel better. One short term, the other hopefully long term.

Pretty simple. Pray, don’t go to the store. It’s important to stay close to people who are in your corner. Eat well and healthy. Show up to doctors and therapy appointments. Staying humble with peace and confidence that one day at a time everything will be okay.

Don’t drink, be honest to myself and my support system. Be humble and thankful that I can go to see my family without worry. Have comfort with my partner. And reminding myself that I’m doing the right thing and moving in a positive direction.

I have a simple life. Food to eat, roof over my head and a comfortable bed to sleep in next to my significantly better half. Currently, due to my life of off and on sobriety. I have some somewhat serious medical problems. I have an unidentified, recurring seizure disorder, anxiety and depression. All with around 8 different doctors and specialists and approximately 90 prescription pills a week. I am hopeful today.

I have lost brain function. I have had to learn how to walk again more than once. I attended college in aviation and learned how to fly. I went to college for non profit administration. I have watched a partner slowly die from cancer over five plus years. I was a marathon coach. Completed 4 marathons, 13 half marathons and countless 10 and 5k races. Most notable point in my running life was being a pacer for the last fifty miles through the night in the Leadville 100 Race Across the Sky. Traveled all over Europe, Mexico and parts of Central America. Lived in 7 different states across the United States. I lived at the Denver Rescue Mission for two and a half years. I’ve been to 13 inpatient treatment centers. The first one paid for by my parents while the other 12 were up to me to figure out. I have been given all the tools, it’s up to me t use them. I have been in the ICU more times than anyone ever should be. Resiliency and unwavering dedication to be a better person fuels me. Never give up no matter what! Recovery happens every day and I’m grateful to be included in that group, it is the feeling I’ve always been looking for without even knowing it. Feel free to reach out anytime, you’re not alone. wjsproperty@hotmail.com The point is anything is possible while battling in and out of recovery. It really is a choice one day at a time. No two stories are the same yet we have one thing in common. Never hesitate to reach out, one chance encounter or conversation might just start your journey and save your life. Step One was a resource I didn’t have. It is so difficult to navigate and know where to turn. Take advantage of any resource put in front of you. I have hope that you become completely broken down to the bottom without dying, because it’s all looking up and forward from there. That’s what it has taken for me, over and over. It can take just once. Foolish me let it take multiple times and horrifying health situations. My advice is don’t get comfortable digging yourself out of a hole, the reality is, one day you might end up staying in that hole. Love you all ❤️