My story started out as so many do with partying and taking it to the extreme for years. From the age of 16 to about 26 I was able to keep my addiction under "control" or so I thought because I held down great jobs, was able to afford my life style and had avoided any real consequences. But at 26 things started to drastically change,. I know longer was the "fun party girl" that people liked to have around, alcohol had become my way to cope with the stresses of being a single mom, a life time of unresolved issues, and current family challenges; just to name a few. In March of 2017 I received a neglect ticket for being intoxicated around my son, which sobered me up for a little while, but without addressing my under lying issues; I quickly returned to what had become my best friend at that time, vodka. In July of 2017 I was in a horrific car accident stemming from a aneurism rupturing in my brain, after flat lining a few times I under went emergency brain surgery to stop the bleeding. I would later find out that the surgeon also found another blood clot that hadn't ruptured yet; and that having a brain aneurism rupture is something that only 1 in 4 people survive. From their I continued down my destructive path, sitting at home and using for another 8 months. My bottom came at the beginning of March 2018, when after a string of horrible events I checked into Parker Valley Hope. It was there that I learned that my drinking was a symptom of a much deeper issue; and from there I was able to start the path to Recovery. I went door to door to sober living where I spent the next 12 months rebuilding my life. I just recently celebrated my 7 year Recovery Birthday. My life today looks nothing like it did 7 years ago, and that is completely attributed to the choice I made on 3/3/18, and I've never looked back.

I think I knew for a long time that I needed help. Looking back I can pinpoint moments where people in my life; family, friends, bosses: all tried to help me in there own ways. But I just wasn't ready. I was angry, hurting, and most definitely drinking at people at this point in my life. My turning point was walking into Parker Valley Hope and seeing people from all walks or life, backgrounds, careers, and histories; who shared this same insidious disease. It was there I learned that addiction is just a part of who I am, and does not erase all the other things I like about myself. It is a disease stemming from trauma and you must addresses these issues to see the outward manifestation of the healing, which is putting down the drink or drug for good.

I was scared that it would be a scarlet letter, everyone would know that i was too weak to control myself, or they would find out about all the horrible things I had been holding onto for so long. And being weak was the very last thing I wanted to be labeled as. I was surrounded by "normies" and it was so simple for them to just have one drink or none at all. And I felt exceedingly inferior as time went on, knowing something was wrong but unable to say it out long. I suffered in silence for a longtime.

I have walked my own unique path of Recovery, not being a traditional 12 steppers; but creating my own path as I went. Although so many people told me I would fail if I did not chose that readily accepted route. Gathering people, places, and supports along the way that make up this beautiful web of recovery I have today. So I can not say it is just one person or thing, however a collection of people and things that have gotten me here. I am so glad that I trusted my gut, leaned into the hard work of getting sober, and allowed myself the freedom to create the path that felt right to me. Recovery is not a one size fits all thing, and I am so glad that the conversation surrounding "how to recover" is changing.

Learning to trust my inner voice, and asking for help when I needed it. As I shared before, I was a rather self reliant person in my addiction. And so being introduced to this idea that I couldn't do this allow was terrifying, I didn't trust people. But by taking things a day, an hour, a minute at a time, that slowly changed. I went to meetings, did therapy, pushed myself to learn more about this disease,, got vulnerable with people that showed me I could lean on them and slowly the clouds parted.

Working out, spending time with people I love, laughing as much as possible, and being as self aware are all things that help me stay sober. It is not always easy, and I am far from perfect, but I have the right people around me that help me stay in check.

Time to myself to process my thoughts. I am very busy, being a Mom and running multiple organizations has me going non stop. If I am not intentional about my down time, I won't get any, and without a break I am no use to anyone. So I have really learned over the last few years how to prioritize myself, even if its just a few short minutes of my favorite podcast or a quick work out. It is a nonnegotiable for me.

My life today is full and incredible. I get to show up for my family, immediate and extended. I get to be in my niece and nephews life; being an Aunt is one of my favorite titles I have! I get to support my children in all the things they are passionate about, help my husband run his Company he create from his passion, House and Hound. Soon we will add breeding to his long list of accomplishments. I run several organizations that fill parts of my soul that I didn't realize were empty until their conceptions. Sober Is...Peer Recovery Coaching is a beautiful collection of Coaches who work day in and day out to help people in early Recovery create the Path that is right for them. Recovery Omega is an incredible Behavioral Health Organization that works with companies all over the State who are doing life changing work daily. And the most recent is Defy Sober Living, where we give Mom's and their kids a chance to rebuild their lives in Recovery. I hope to soon add a Fathers and Children's home to this program. Life today is wonderful!